I heard the other day that there was a whole movement of people in Canada totally pissed off at our big neighbors to the south that they were going to boycott Walmart. We seem to lose most of the competitions as they are such a poweful nation compared to us. Case in point is the lumber battle. But we do win a few hockey games every so often. Here is a story of one such competition and the outcome.

Two Americans boarded a flight out of Salt Lake after the hockey game. One sat in the window seat and the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, a Canadian got on and took the aisle seat. After take-off, the Canadian kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the American in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a beer."

"No problem," said the Canadian, "I'll get it for you."

While he was gone, one of the Americans picked up the Canadian's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the beer, the other American said, "That looks good; I think I'll have one too."

Again, the Canadian obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other American picked up the other shoe and spat in it.

When the Canadian returned to his seat, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

As the plane was landing, the Canadian slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"Why does it have to be this way?" he asked. "How long must this go on?

This fighting between our nations?

This hatred?

This animosity?

This spitting in shoes, and pissing in beers."

Revised 2013 by Larry Gentleman