'Twarn't long after I built that twin job for the school house, and then after that the biggest plant up to date—a eight holer.
Elmer Ridgway was down and looked it over. And he come to me one day and sez : "Lem, I seen that eight hole job you done down there at the Corners, and it sure is a dandy; and fig­gerin' as how I'm goin' to build on the old Robinson property, I thought I'd ask you to kind of estimate on a job for me.""You come to the right man, Elmer," I sez. "I'll be out as soon as I get the roof on the two-seater I'm puttin' up for the Sheriff."

Couple of days later I drives out to Elmer's place, gettin' there about dinner time. I knocks a couple of times on the door and I see they got a lot of folks to dinner, so not wishin' to disturb 'em, I just sneaks around to the side door and yells, "Hey, Elmer, here I am ; where do you want that privy put?" Elmer comes out and we get to talkin' about a good location. He was all fer puttin' her right alongside a jagged path runnin' by a big Northern Spy.

"I wouldn't do it, Elmer," I sez ; "and I'll tell you why. In the first place, her bein' near a tree is bad. There ain't no sound in nature so disconcertin' as the sound of apples droppin' on th' roof. Then another thing, there's a crooked path runnin' by that tree and the soil there ain't adapted to absorbin' moist­ure. Durin' the rainy season she's likely to be slippery. Take your grandpappy —goin' out there is about the only re­creation he gets. He'll go out some rainy night with his nighties flappin' around his legs, and like as not when you come out in the mornin' you'll find him prone in the mud, or maybe skidded off one of them curves and wound up in the corn crib. No sir," I sez, "put her in a straight line with the house and if it's all the same to you have her go past the woodpile. I'll tell you why.

So I gits in the car and drives out to Luke's place, and hid behind them Baldwins, where I could get a good view of the situation.
It was right in the middle of hayin' time, and them hired hands was goin' in there and stayin' anywheres from forty minutes to an hour. Think of that!
I sez : "Luke, you sure have got privy trouble." So I takes out my kit of tools and goes in to examine the structure.
First I looks at the catalogue hangin' there, thinkin' it might be that; but it wasn't even from a reckonized house. Then I looks at the seats proper, and I see what the trouble was. I had made them holes too durn comfortable. So I gets out a scroll saw and cuts 'em square with hard edges. Then I go back and takes up my position as before--me here, the Baldwins here, and the privy there. And I watched them hired hands goin' in and out for nearly two hours ; and not one of them was stayin' more than four minutes.
"Luke," I sez, "I've solved her." That's what comes of bein' a specialist, gentlemen.