Great Newspaper Advertisements

 

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.

FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 COCKER SPANIEL -
1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG

FREE PUPPIES
...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD
- PART STUPID DOG

FREE
GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs.
NEUTERED.
SPEAKS GERMAN.

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
LOOKS LIKE A RAT...
BEEN OUT AWHILE..
BETTER BE REWARD.

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB-

$850/offer

AMANA WASHER $100.
OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR
WHO SELDOM WASHED.

FOR SALE...
SNOW BLOWER
ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
1 5-finger
1 3-finger
PAIR: $15

FOR SALE
COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED...
ALSO
1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

NORDIC TRACK
$300 HARDLY USED
CALL CHUBBIE

SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA
- FREE CHOPSTICKS

HUMMELS
- LARGEST SELECTION EVER
"IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"

GET A LITTLE JOHN:
THE TRAVELING URINAL
HOLDS 2 1/2 BOTTLES OF BEER.

HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB

GEORGIA PEACHES
CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.

NICE PARACHUTE:
-NEVER OPENED
-USED ONCE
-SLIGHTLY STAINED

FREE:
FARM KITTENS
READY TO EAT.

AMERICAN FLAG
- 60 STARS
- POLE INCLUDED $100

TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR?
WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS.
STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.

OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB
... AND IT'S MADE OF 100%
ITALIAN LEATHER.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER
$300.

LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY.

ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER

OPEN HOUSE
BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON
FREE COFFEE & DONUTS

FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes.
Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer.
No longer needed. Got married last weekend.

Revised 2013 by Larry Gentleman