The George Carlin Theory on Life

 

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
I mean, life is tough.
It takes up a lot of your time.
What do you get at the end of it?
A Death.
What's that? A bonus?"

I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should die first, get it out of the way.
Then you live in an old age home.
You get kicked out when you're too young.
You get a gold watch and you go to work.
You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school.
You go to grade school.
You become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities.
You become a little baby.
You go back into the womb, spend your last nine months floating...

and you finish off as an orgasm !

 

George Denis Patrick Carlin (born May 12, 1937) is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. Carlin is especially noted for his political and black humor and his observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many taboo subjects.

Carlin and his "Seven Dirty Words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a narrow 5-4 decision by the justices affirmed the government's right to regulate Carlin's act on the public airwaves.

George Carlin's most recent stand up routines are primarily focused on attacking the flaws in modern-day America. He often takes on contemporary political issues in the United States and satirizes the excesses of American culture.

He is considered by many to be a successor to the late Lenny Bruce and was described by Comedy Central as the second greatest stand-up comedian of all time behind Richard Pryor, and right before Lenny Bruce. He was also the first person to host Saturday Night Live.

Revised 2013 by Larry Gentleman