Great collection of OUthouses and PrivysOuthouses sure bring back a few memories. Memories of a winter spent in Valleyview Alberta about the late nineties, when the mercury just buried itself in the bottom of the thermometer, it must have been way below 50. The only accommodations for natures call was a outhouse about 100 yards from the house. Boy was that a experience to remember.
Also in my memory is the fact that we lived in coexistence with the outhouse for the first 12 years of my life. It was quite a experience when my sister lost her favorite rubber "oh larie oh" ball down the old 2 holer, and the hazardous rescue operation of lowering fat Jules down into that hole to recover the ball.

We can start this dissertation off with a little mood music

If the music doesn't play your browser doesn't support the song, or you have your speakers turned off. This song is from way back probably the thirties when outhouses were a fixture. Billy Ed Wheeler is the singer I think.

And now we will add some Outhouse Poetry

The Outhouse and Us

-- by Stan Paregien, Sr. -- Copyright 1996 --

Great Outhouse Picture and Story I'll never forget the Halloween of 1956 That's when the Jones boys and me got into a fix. It's not that we were outlaws, don't you see? We just found the curse of Washington's cherry tree.

Bueford and Marvin and I decided to have some fun. So we slipped over to the Palmer place, 'bout half-past one. The yellow Halloween moon shone brightly in the sky. When we turned their outhouse over, quietly on the sly.

When pa asked me about it, I said:"I cannot tell a lie. "I helped push the Palmer's outhouse over "and took off on the fly." "Bend over, boy," pa said, taking that big razor strap down. "Time for you to learn that on such foolishness I frown."

"But pa," says I with tears falling down like summer rain, "When George Washington told the truth, his father inflicted no pain." "You and George both told the truth," pa said, "On that I agree." "But when George did his hatchet job, his neighbor wasn't in the tree."

The Cowboy Outhouse

--by John Hill-(Copyright 1997)--

Cowboy Outhouse and Story

When I was a young man, away back when
We had things that you don't know about...then.
An outhouse was something you couldn't do without
Each home had one near about.
This was a little wooden house down a path..out back.
The door was kept closed by a latch, held with a tack.
Here let say, if the door was closed
It was for how long, nobody knows.
This house was referred to as a two holer or one holer
Which meant that there were two holes or one hole cut in the seat
No place could be any hotter, or colder, and it wasn't too neat
When the snow was on the ground and frost on the seat
And in the night you heard the sound of hurried feet
You're thankful, it's not you that has to hurry
If so, down the path you go icy cold...vision blurry.
It doesn't take long (when turned to the North star)
To realize just where you are.
On the seat was a catalog with pages turned down
From this, you took a page with a frown
You took care of the paper work, then up, and on your way
It didn't take long to get back in bed, you hope to stay.
You really don't realize what an experience this can be,
Unless, you could have been there with me.
Well, I guess we had to have this, so that,
We can appreciate today, knowing where we use to sat.

THE OUTHOUSE POEM

---Author Unknown---

Outhouse and Story

The service station trade was slow
The owner sat around,
With sharpened knife and cedar stick
Piled shavings on the ground.

No modern facilities had they,
The log across the rill
Led to a shack,marked His and Hers
That sat against the hill.

"Where is the ladies restroom, sir?"

The owner leaning back,
Said not a word but whittled on,
And nodded toward the shack.

With quickened step she entered there
But only stayed a minute,
Until she screamed,just like a snake Or spider might be in it.

With startled look and beet red face. Just like three gals before. She missed the foot log - jumped the stream. The owner gave a shout, As her silk stockings, down at her knees Caught on a sassafras sprout. She tripped and fell - got up, and then In obvious disgust, Ran to the car, stepped on the gas, And faded in the dust.

Of course we all desired to know What made the gals all do The things they did,and then we found The whittling owner knew.

A speaking system he'd devised To make the thing complete, He tied a speaker on the wall
Beneath the toilet seat.

He'd wait until the gals got set And then the devilish tike, Would stop his whittling long enough, To speak into the mike.

And as she sat, a voice below Struck terror, fright and fear,
"Will you please use the other hole, We're painting under here!"

Next I will feature one of my Adventures in Gold Mining Country

Mining Camp Outhouses

Luxury Outhouses for the Gold Miners in the Caribou

I found these two outhouses way back in the bush in the Wells Barkerville Area in June of 2006. It was near a abandoned mining operation back in the hills. It was definitley an important latrine area for the workers right next to the cook shack. They didn't have a lot of building materials and it was pieced together with whatever they had laying around.

Notice the leaning design of the one to the left it was probably level at one time but because of the high traffic it experienced from the anxious miners it was just giving up. The door is an old freezer door, goes to show you how inventive those guys were. At any rate I was reading the label on that door and thinking how they got something like that way up in the bush. Well I nearly wet myself laughing and had to use the other latrine. Read the label in the picture below.

Isn't that something, "WEAR YOUR PERSONAL FLOTATION DEVICE" and "HANG ON".

 

And that may be good advice for that particular outhouse as it is sure leaning at a steep angle leeward.

Two Holer Mining outhouses Seats up for Men

The Donovan Creek Mines Company High Class Privy Facilities

A Two holer and a one Holer. Notice it must have been Men working as the seats are up....

Well on the other hand one of the seats is designer blue, and miners never had that taste or access to such luxuries. There might have been a female around.

Perfectly usable Mining Camp Outhouses

I sent my son Walter my professional assistant in to check out the operational aspects of the outdoor privy.

The testing went well and he found it in perfect working condition.

He didn't have anything left in him to test out the two holer but I am sure it would pass WCB standards as well.

One small flaw was that the maintenance staff at Donovan Creek Mines had not supplied reading/cleaning paper that is customary for these facilities.

These are in the Family at Francois Lake Cottages

Francois Lake Garden Outhouse Moon Model with optional Bluebird makes this a classy outfit.

At the cottages in Francois Lake they have built up beautiful Garden areas and right smack in the middle is the most important tool needed for a busy gardener, next to the shovel and rake of course! This one comes complete with Half moon and the optional bluebird.
The Webers Working Outhouse

This single holer may not look too fancy but it has patio lights which light the trail for that hazardous night sabbatical when it is so dark in the bush. This one also has a guest book and great reading material. It also has special overhead ventilation for those hot humid days at the Lake. It may not be fancy as the bluebird special from above but it does get a lot more use being close to the cottage and the cook area.

Now for some Professional Models designed by experts

Boss Employee Model Outhouse

Boss Employee Model Outhouse

This model of outhouse is often referred to as the boss employee model as two people could use the outhouse at the same time .

To avoid getting dumped on by the Boss an emergency bell was attached to the side of the building. You would pull on a sting to ring the bell according to the present urgency of the situation.

This particular outhouse is very rare. Especially the deck leading right out to the executive level of the outhouse. Usually a ladder is used to get to the top executive level.

Oftimes the Bosses level was a two holer while the lower level was a simple one holer. It was not very popular as it was noisy with that darn bell ringing going on all the time.

Smokey the Bear Outhouse

Smokey the Bear Model Outhouse

Now this looks like a mighty fine model with Smokey the Bear as the chief sponsor. So it must have been hand crafted by a very fine carpenter with absolutely no idea on the importance of certain design criteria for outhouses.

There is no half moon on the door to let any light in so one can check out the reading material or the stars.

There is no ventilation. So it might be good for growing mushrooms or something but not for an emergency sabbatical.

And the audacity of someone who would put a padlock on the door is horrifying. If a person had an emergency sabbatical calling and came to such a situation of a locked door on the outhouse, the door would be busted open in haste and not a court in the land would side with the owner of the facility.

Made in the USA Model Outhouse

Made In the USA model with Hot Tub

This is definitely a made in the USA model of outhouse as witnessed by the flying of the American Flag.

Americans are noted for their innovative ideas.

I think this was going to be one of the first hot tubs to compliment the Outhouse facilities.

Location Location Location Outhouse

Location-Location-Location

Location Location Location seems to be the modern real estate salesman chant.

In this case the structure is of a wonderful design. Sitting on a steep hill enhances the drainage. And right behind is a wonderful rhubarb patch that thrives on the drainage aspects of this location.

Whenever I think of a wonderful juicy rhubarb pie I think of the garden of rhubarb that the owners of a privy always had growing in the area around the outhouse. I do not like rhubarb for this reason!

What I was thinking was that the structure in on that steep hill. Access to the privy had to be very well planned as the trip by the patron was usually an emergency full speed dash. Oftimes it was late at night with no moon to light the way or a fresh snowfall and gale force winds weather conditions. The steep grade would be hard to negotiate in these adverse conditions.

And now to finish off this dissertation on Out Houses
THIS IS THE WAY THEY DO IT IN TEXAS!

Chances are you've never used one, but all this Month some of the prettiest outhouses in Texas  Are on display.  There are 12 full-sized "Thunderboxes" (outhouses) painted and decorated  In true Texas style. Sonja Howle with the Thunderbox Road exhibit says "It was created to pay tribute and showcase the talent We have in the Hill Country artists." In February, the exhibit will be at the San Antonio Stock Show and Rodeo.  After their tour, the outhouses Will be auctioned off to benefit medical research and The Western Art Museum in Kerrville ... 

prettiest outhouses in Texas  "Thunderboxes" (outhouses) painted and decorated true Texas Style "Thunderboxes" (outhouses) painted and decorated true Texas Style "Thunderboxes" (outhouses) painted and decorated true Texas Style "Thunderboxes" (outhouses) painted and decorated true Texas Style "Thunderboxes" (outhouses) painted and decorated true Texas Style "Thunderboxes" (outhouses) painted and decorated true Texas Style "Thunderboxes" (outhouses) painted and decorated true Texas Style "Thunderboxes" (outhouses) painted and decorated true Texas Style "Thunderboxes" (outhouses) painted and decorated true Texas Style "Thunderboxes" (outhouses) painted and decorated true Texas Style "Thunderboxes" (outhouses) painted and decorated true Texas Style

If you made it this far down the page I must have caught your attention. Isn't it something how they always seem to do things so great in Texas!

Best Selling Book On the Building of Outhouses

This Little book is a Great Read

I have reproduced this little book in exact detail. It contains a heart warming story and shows the wonderful writing style of by-gone days.

I especially like the part on the logic of why you should make the path to the privy pass the woodpile, for the ladies.

Below is a small sample of what is in this great best selling book from about 1920 I think.

The Specialist aat a banquet

Mr. President and Gentlemen :

You've heerd a lot of pratin' and prattlin' about this bein' the age of specialization. I'm a carpenter by trade. At one time I could of built a house, barn, church or chicken coop.

But I seen the need of a specialist in my line, so I studied her. I got her; she's mine. Gentlemen, you are face to face with the champion privy builder of Sangamon County.

Revised 2013 by Larry Gentleman